


The Sun Feels Good On My Skin

by makemelovely



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, POV Second Person, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:17:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9784616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makemelovely/pseuds/makemelovely
Summary: Tragedy follows the blindly bright sun.





	

Maya smiles sweetly at you, and you smile back. Numb. The light doesn't quite reach your eyes but she's already turned away from you. Farkle is finishing up some complicated math problem while Smackle looks over her Science notes. Zay is flirting with a girl in History class named Kate and Lucas is tossing a baseball in the air and catching it. Your stomach twists as his fingers clench around the worn out ball. Squeezing, like the cold numbness that touches your heart. You can't remember a time when your smile was real but they don't notice. They never notice.

They didn't notice when you started to think about jumping off of buildings or when you debated about swallowing the pills in the medicine cabinet.

They didn't notice when you drank so much the room started spinning or when you kissed too many boys who didn't taste like Maya but held you close enough you could ignore that.

They didn't notice when you stopped feeling like you. Like sunshine, and hope, and happiness. Like Riley Matthews. After all, as long as you looked okay it didn't matter. There was no reason to get a clue about the way you stopped eating. You didn't really eat food anymore. No appetite. It all tasted bland and disgusting. Like nothing.

Just like you.

Your name is Riley Matthews and you want to die.

-

Maya tastes like cinnamon gum and cherry chap stick and popcorn. You kiss her in the movie theatre at the end of that weird foreign movie with too small subtitles. You wanted to stop the fast beating of your heart and the clammy feeling that slicked your palms and the twist feeling in your stomach. She smelled like vanilla and leather and that unique scent that was just Maya. God, it was so distracting.

-

You felt numb forty-five minutes later when she left you in your bedroom alone, with a soft _It doesn't have to mean anything, honey._  She didn't want you, of course she didn't. Because you were clumsy, and loud, and cheerful. No, it wasn't numb at first. It was hatred. It was a burning loathing that ate up your innards and flickered like living flames.

-

You were curled up in bed, a bottle of liquor tucked tightly against your heaving stomach. Quick breathes floated in and out, in and out. It burned. It clung and dragged and went up in smoke. The empty pill bottle clattered from your hand, your fingers unfurling from the plastic, your ears pricking up slightly at the clattering of it.

-

You were found by Maya, a year after your first kiss that became your last memory. She tasted like cinnamon gum, and popcorn, and cherry chap stick. And you loved her. But you couldn't live anymore.

-

She called you Sunshine but all you ever did was reflect her light. She was the sun, you were simply the moon.


End file.
